Funny

I've been so wrapped up in the bullshit details of life and nothing, I've forgotten who I was.

Schools done with.

Life seems to move regardless.

I've become mundane.

I hate that part the most. I am not interesting anymore.

Change. Is. Needed.

Turning Point

So times are a' changin'. People are growing, people are finding direction in their lives. Kids will be kids, but kids can't always be kids. Hey YOU, yea! GROW SOME!

My brother wants to keep on the keeping on and get a house with his girlfriend. I don't intend to be a dick or anything, but to be quite honest, I had such a high expectation for him. Class valedictorian, honors up the wazoo, ASB, Tennis captain. I mean, to me, he always had a leading role. He is a pompous ass, but sometimes leaders needed to be hard to get the point across. Comparing his PreGF self to him now, he would've kicked his own ass for being such a bitch. He's settling, which isn't always a bad thing, but shit, if its in your face, why not push?

Funny, because that very same rant can be applied to all of us. Why has our drive been cut short? Why has the fire dimmed?

I too feel that I was once an ambitious chap. I kept striving for more. I didn't like to settle. I got my eyes on a goal, and I can truly say there was NEVER a wasted effort. Well, maybe small detours to revitalize, but none the less, it was towards that same goal. Shit happens, and PresentDay Soch isn't the same. I've plateaued and its not somewhere fun.

Well, the winds of change are blowing, and I'm setting my sail. My new resolve to change this workout called life has started. I'm glad to be moving in with my sisters. I've always been close, but the looming doubts of the possibility of sullying our relationship made me hesitant. After a nice long talk whilst moving a heavier-than-shit fridge, Terri and I both expressed our concerns about the move, the excitement I bring to the picture, and the future of the family. Its something I'm REALLY looking forward too, and I don't normally capitalize the word 'really.'

On an ending note, I found that my sisters and I all love the same point in that one song by Taylor Swift. Where she rhymes 'that' with 'that.' Something about her vocalization.

Everyone needs to update their blogs, seriously. Like I'm someone to talk. =)

UGHH.

I'm going to die today. Its been a pretty beefy 3 days. Tough, right?

MAN UP BIG BABY!

I gotta bust this paper out, but with the lack of a book for citation, I can only BS so much.

I'm not gonna lie, when I get home from school, i'm knocking out ASAP.

Oh yea!

To all the lovely ladies in my life, thank you for being there.

You ladies compliment the living crap out of my life, and are awesome in your own radical ways.

To the doods that I surround myself with,

The gangbang will be at my house, 4pm sharp.

BYO Lube.

I fell out of blogging. I'm falling back into it.

Yea. Consistently blogging is a pretty hard task. You've already gotta balance your life, reminding yourself about all the little intricate details. Reminding yourself to blog is one that isn't a high priority, but is still something you look forward to, even if its MONTHS later.

So whats the Beeh's knees? Well, after a nice and lengthy talk with the family, I will be moving to...
LA TRICK! Its not to say things aren't panning out with the brother, its more along the lines of him keeping up with the Cambodian equivalent of the Joneses, likely to be the Chans, or Kims. Buying his own home, regardless of how desolate the surrounding area is. Its all the better for him I guess. He'll have his two friends, his battle-ax of a companion, and all the dirt and empty space he could ever want! I'm sure it'll be like MadMax every single day for him. I actually AM jealous. Did you see how cool they dressed in MadMax? Leather's making a comeback, ferr sherr!

In other news, schools back in session! I'm totally excited, while I do sometimes seem enthused about the teacher's curriculum or style. Still, honing my writing skills is always something I look forward to, not just for academic purposes either. I mean, you never know when you'll have to find the right wording to express your feelings towards your elderly neighbor's lewd advances. But really, being one step closer to getting that degree, however late, is still a great feeling.

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Yo MOMMA!

The Girlie and I had a nice talk about things a ways back. It covered family, friends, future, but the big thing that stuck was my Mother's role in my life. As many of you folks know, I really didn't have a motherly figure as a child, and it's had its effects on my life as an Adult (or a lame excuse for one). I adapt quickly with women, like a kid yearning for his mother. I'm striving for my mother's acceptance subliminally. While Junky was trying to voice this as logically as possible, I couldn't help but get a bit heated. I mean, she was attacking me, and above all else, my mother! And thats when it really made sense.

What reasons do I really have to truly love my mother? Besides the fact she gave me life, what else has she contributed to my development as a man? Why should I want her acceptance when she left the Kids high and dry?

I know what I've got to change - that desire to be loved by her. As saddening as it sounds, it really isn't as twisted as you may think. By way of me "moving on", I can really step into my own as an individual, I can really be my own man instead of trying to please her, as funny as that sounds. Living through Proxy. I'll expand later.

Now, all of you folks need to update! MicroBlogging (Twitter) doesn't count!

You know what?

I've been meaning to blog. I haven't gotten around to it yet.

My life is mundane.

I WILL be blogging today, well, later today, again. If that makes sense.

Until then, enjoy this!

Wasn't that glorious?

Yep, quite the return to blogging I'd say. Life's been mundane. The world is scratching to survive, and I have finally, after a extremely long period of not, felt the anguishes of the financial crisis.

Being without a job sucks hard. Being without a job, missing rent sucks hard. Being without a job, missing rent, and accumulating tickets sucks hard.

All in all, the past few months have sucked hard. What have I learned from this? A little bit.

The only person you can really rely on is yourself. As much as you'd love to think you can help others, you REALLY have to make yourself the top priority. In all honesty, I should definitely take my own advice. I NEED to take my own advice. Damn myself to hell.

Point number Two, you can not sit around and fiddle your damn fingers when the world is moving. Remember that tale about the grasshopper and the ants? The ants busted their thoraxes of an ass and prepared for the winter, and the grasshopper was straight chilling? In a realistic world, that grasshopper would have been eaten the minute he rested his damn violin legs. A bird would have come down from the glorious heavens, and bit his self-loathing head off.
Why is he harbor the feelings of loathsomeness within himself? Because he has yet to explore the various options of the world. He found one thing he was good at, playing his violin legs, and kept at it. The Grasshopper never found out what other talents he may have had, but he was content with it. I'm a prime example, I think. I have not ventured out to try anything new. Same mundane schedule of nothingness, and it has not brought change. What the hell am I waiting for?

A giant kick in the bum.